A very amusing thing happened this past weekend...
My daughter (12) wanted to spend the night at her friend's house, but since the same friend was going to be staying at our house the next night, she wasn't sure if we would allow it. So she asked her dad if it would be alright (I wasn't home from work yet). Her dad asked her why she wanted to have sleepover's back-to-back. DD, thinking the dad would be mad at the whole truth, starts telling half-truths; she wants to help her friend clean her room, etc. DH's answer, "No", because he's thinking that DD is holding something back and maybe that something is that she's going to sneak out of the house, or something else.
I get home and DD comes to me crying that dad doesn't understand her anymore and she feels that he doesn't want to. I finally get her calmed down enough to tell me the whole story and that she wants a sleep over because to just wants to spend more time with her friend.
Did you know that guys do not have sleepovers with their friend, just to spend time and talk with them? That is very much a girl thing.
So after giggling a little (and explaining to DD that I wasn't laughing at her), I asked my daughter, "Has your dad ever been a teen-aged girl?" and then convinced her that we needed to have a mini-family meeting with dad.
Now DH has a Bachelors in Psychology (that means he's qualified to listen and then say, "Hmmmmm") and keeps up-to-date with child behavior and psychology , which really comes in handy with both kids as we know ahead of time why they've done something, even if they don't. So when I called him into the livingroom, the first thing I said was, "Honey, you know how girls are social creatures? Daughter, ask again."
She asks to stay the night.
DH asks why.
DD says, '"Cause I just want to spend more time with my friend."
DH says, "Now that I believe (and understand)! Yes!"
Problem solved. Also, now DD knows that if hubby doesn't understand her, he'll ask me what's going on. And to tell the whole truth. There may be times where we will not like hearing the truth, but better a truth we don't like, than a lie that sounds good.
Ah yes, DD just had to get in a parting shot of "You know if daddy HAD been a teen-aged girl, then we would have never had this conversation."
The smart ass. I wonder where she gets it from...