Thursday, June 28, 2007

Driving rules of Houston

  1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is "Hue-stun", not "Ewe-stun", or "house-tun". Oh yea, the street is pronounced "San Phil-ee-pay," not" San Phil-eep" ( San Felipe).
  2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Houston has its own version of traffic rules...Hold on and pray. There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Houston. We all drive like that.
  3. All directions start with, "Go down to Loop 610".... which has no beginning and no end.
  4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic... a "Scenic Drive ."
  5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00AM to 10:00AM. The evening rush hour is from 3:00PM to 7:00PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
  6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one off the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way.
  7. Kuykendahl Road can ONLY be pronounced by a native Houstonian.
  8. Construction on I-10, I-45, US 59 and Loop 610 is away of life and a permanent form of entertainment.
  9. All unexplained smells are explained by the phrases,"Oh, we must be in Pasadena!" or "God, I hate Baytown!" or "Mmm, smell that Texas City!"
  10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect.
  11. All old ladies with blue hair in a pink Cadillac have total right-of-way.
  12. The minimum acceptable speed on Loop 610 is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. In turn, the minimum speed on Westheimer is at least 45mph.
  13. The wrought iron on windows in east Houston are NOT ornamental.
  14. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, "Keep honking, I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone.
  15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 mph in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving when they pass you.
  16. The Sam Houston Toll road is our daily version of NASCAR.
  17. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
  18. When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits lead to Louisiana.
  19. If you live in Katy and I live on the south side of Houston we'll never hang out.
  20. The best thing about being drunk between 2-5 am is Whataburger will serve both breakfast and normal menus.
  21. You are always able to be pulled over by any police vehicle, even if you were just given a ticket.
  22. By the same token, one police vehicle can and will pull over more than one vehicle at a time; there is no max. limit.
  23. You don't have to wait for an exit to get off a freeway, just follow the ruts in the grass to the feeder like everyone else. This is how Houston resident's notify Texas Department of Transportation where exits should have been built.
  24. Else-where, they are called frontage roads. Here in Houston , they are called FEEDER roads, so don't look stupid when we say "Exit the feeder road and use the loop-d-loop." (See Rule 3)

Monday, June 25, 2007

The answer my friend...

Time to put your thinking caps on again my friends! (Like any of us really ever take them off.) Answer when/if you feel like it. If you answer it on your own blog, don't forget to let me know, so I can hop on over and read.

How many times can a man turn his head, / and pretend that he just doesn't see?
--Bob Dylan "Blowing in the Wind"

Even today, Bob Dylan’s lyrics can easily strike a political chord. And I could *EASILY* turn this into a rant and bash of the current U.S. Administration, world politics, and personal views of war.
But I’m not. It’s been done many times over elsewhere, and I don’t have anything new (or enlightening) to add.

Instead, I’ll turn your attention to the children, who (and apparently, it is not just my children who do this) can trip, walking into a room, and ask me where their shoes are. Oh yes, they just tripped over their shoes walking into the room. Sometimes, I want to grab their head put it 2 inches from the shoe (or any other obvious object they are looking for) and ask, “Can you see it now?”
However, that is a very inappropriate way to respond to children. SO instead, I have them walk in and out of the room (tripping each way) until they finally actually LOOK at what is at their feet. This also works for things in the fridge, on the table (you just keep having them bring you things from there and have them take it back). Now my daughter, I think holds the record of tripping over her shoes for half an hour before it registers that those were the shoes she was looking for. It was at that point I told her that if I found them, I was keeping them and she would have to buy her own. And she couldn’t go into the store without shoes on her feet (No shirt, no shoes, no service).

Now can someone tell me where my glasses are…..

Friday, June 22, 2007

What is this cross stitch you speak of?

It has come to my attention that I have not done any stitching updates in a while. Not that I haven't been hard working on projects, but I was commissioned for a couple of things and I think they are models, so I can't share pictures of them yet. But I will as soon as I recieve the go-ahead.
Since I've been working on those, my own projects are laying by the way side.
I'm thinking of no longer taking commissions. I like doing them, but two things are starting to get in the way. My hands and I never get to work on my stuff. (Someone in the family is getting antsy for me to complete the tree skirt... hubby)
We'll see...

Thursday, June 07, 2007

If you ever need a giggle...

Just check out my choice of footwear for the day.

I was at work for 1 1/2 hours before I noticed this.

Sadly, this is not the first time it haas happened either.

Note to self: If your going to get dressed in the dark, at least check you feet in the light before you walk out the door. Or keep a pair of tennis shoes in the car for the next time you do this.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

"Imaginating" - The Boy

This definitely falls under the "What I learn from my children" category.

Recently my son (aka The Boy) has discovered "The Backyardians", a cartoon about a group of friends who use their imaginations and their back yards to have some awesome adventures. My son has taken to choosing this to watch as his daily treat, and as soon as it is over, turns off the TV, announces to the house at large that he is off to and heads into the back yard for a bit. Now this bit can be anywhere from 5 minutes up until I have to call him in for dinner, but the end result is always the same. When he comes back in the house, he tells me of the adventure he just went on, and then says, "I'm good at imaginating, aren't I, Mom."
Other than correcting grammar, I'll ask more questions about what he did, or to clarify something I don't understand (he loves to make up words). Unfortunately, he always tells me these stories while I'm in the middle of doing something else, like trying to keep the house from burning down from the chicken flambe (Really, I'm not a bad cook; my son just has his mother's timing when it comes to discussing important things), so I don't always remember what he said. Only that it was interesting and he had fun. Oh yes, and I'm not allowed to go with him on these adventures (I asked to come one day).

Now one of the things The Boy detests is having to take a nap. He's old enough that he does not need to take a nap every day, but still young enough that I need an hour of quiet from him in the middle of the day. So nap time is the time when he has to lay down anywhere in his room and be quiet for one hour. I don't care if he sleeps or reads a book, just as long as he's given me time to recover. This weekend, for the first time in several months, he actually slept during his nap time. When I asked him about it, he said that he "imaginated" that he was on a space ship and he was traveling to a new planet, but it would take such a long time that he had to go to sleep for the whole trip (Which explains why he asked "Are we there yet?" when I woke him up). And he's been doing this more and more whenever he is asked to do something he doesn't want to do, he pretends he's doing something fun instead.

So today, I'm not at work. I'm an international superstar, planning out a world tour of shows and interviews. And my drive home, will not be stressful, because I'll be on a leisurely tour of the canals of Venice. That should freak out the moron who tries to broadside me in bumper-to-bumper traffic when I home, smile and wave.

I might even blow a kiss his/her way.